5 REAL Reasons I'm Quiet
Friday, January 09, 2015
People seem to like pointing out the obvious. Things like "It's raining outside" or "Today is Monday" or "Don't hit yourself over the head with a hammer."
And of course, my personal favorite...
"You're so quiet!"
It's true- I cannot deny it. I am quiet. But not, perhaps, for the reasons many would suppose.
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words." -Elbert Hubbard
There are quite a few misunderstandings when it comes to... well... to me. Evidently, I'm somewhat difficult to understand. Complex. Puzzling. Unfathomable. Incomprehensible. Enigmatic. Obscure. Mysterious, even.
I don't entirely understand it. Well, in truth, I don't understand it at all. To me, I make perfect sense. It's everyone else who doesn't.
But since there are more people who do not understand me than there are people who do, I feel it's important to clear up just a few of the myths that seem to have developed about why I might be quiet, by instead sharing with you five REAL reasons for my lack of speech...
Five REAL Reasons I'm Quiet
1. I have nothing to say. It's really important to me that I not just contribute to "the noise." There are enough people who speak only to hear their own voice without me joining into the fray. If I'm going to trouble myself to speak, it needs to mean something. If I have nothing productive to say, I'd rather say nothing at all.
2. I have nothing to say to you. It's true- I speak more to people I actually respect. The less I respect you, the less likely I am to talk to you. Ever heard the saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"??? Perhaps you should consider that when questioning my silence.
3. Whatever I'm thinking about is more interesting/overpowering/etc than whatever the current conversation is. My mind has terrible volume control, and absolutely no off switch. (Kind of like some people's mouths.) There are a lot of times when I simply get so caught up in whatever's going on in my head that I actually forget to contribute to the conversation. It's not that I'm uninterested (though this is often true), but there are just as many times where I simply don't process the external conversation.
4. I've already had a conversation about this; it simply happened inside my head where you couldn't hear it. I plan out entire conversations inside my head on a nearly daily basis. I start by thinking out what I want to tell you, but instead of simply telling you, I keep the conversation going. And going. And going. By the time I realize I never said any of it aloud, my conversation is no long relevant. Besides, I already told you all of this. And I do hate redundancy.
5. Everyone else is making small-talk, and I despise small-talk. This goes back to my desire for meaningful, deliberate conversation. I cannot stand unnecessary chatter when there are so many intriguing topics we could be discussing.
So there you have it. Five REAL reasons I'm not talking as much as you think I should. I hope this makes our interactions a bit less intimidating for you, and a bit more satisfying for me.
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101 Things: Counting Down
This week, I decided to take a few minutes to calculate my Clean Sweep score. (#63) My grand total was 60, which is apparently on the upper end of average for your first assessment. Part of that could be because a lot of the questions didn't apply to me (financial issues, home-ownership, etc), but I've also gotten a head-start in several ways because of my interest in minimalism. Over the next few weeks in particular, I'll be looking at ways to improve my score.
I also created my Blessing Jar (#80), although I haven't added anything yet. I'm already looking forward to opening it at the end of 2015!
I also created my Blessing Jar (#80), although I haven't added anything yet. I'm already looking forward to opening it at the end of 2015!
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