Walk In The Rain With Me

In Everything Give Thanks

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

“Give thanks to the needle that stuck your finger, to the wooden beam that hit your head, and to the bee that stung your hand, because they taught you something.” -Mehmet Murat ildan

Sometimes, things happen to us that we don't really like. Maybe your truck broke down. Maybe you got stuck at one more stop-light than you wanted to be. Maybe you're late for work. Maybe you didn't sleep well last night. Or maybe you're just having an all-around bad day. I definitely understand how you feel. I've been there.

Our whole family was sick a little while back. It started with just my little sister, and we thought it might be food-poisoning. But then my little brother and older sister got it, too. And then I got it. Then my mom and dad. In fact, the only people who didn't get sick were my Grandma and one of my younger sisters. (We're still not quite certain how that happened...)

Being sick was... well... it was pretty awful. I'll spare you the gory (and very "TMI") details, and simply say that you should be very thankful we didn't come over and give you this bug. I was down for about twelve hours, although I think I was only actively getting sick for the first six or something, and didn't feel like doing much for the whole day.

Recently, I've felt a little upset about stuff. Between feeling sick a lot, not being able to do the things I want to do because I've felt sick, not sleeping well, and Kharis visiting a college, I just haven't been super happy with life.

But I realized the other day that having that bug actually helped fix one of the problems I'd been having. While I was sick, my body's internal clock was reset back to normal. Before, it had somehow gotten a bit behind. Consequently, I would have difficulty sleeping at night and wake up much too late every morning. But while I was sick, I slept so much that I was actually able to get back on a normal schedule pretty easily! (Well, normal for me, at least.)

And not an hour after realizing that, I saw this post on Facebook that I'm certain was a God-thing. It was a list of things that, while they might not have been ideal, all had something to be thankful for wrapped up in them. For instance, "I'm thankful my feet are sore from walking, because it means I'm strong enough to walk." I think that's just so cool! And so relevant to my week. So, I have decided to write my own little list of stuff like that. And you, my dear peeps, get to read it!

I am thankful that....

1. I got sick... because it helped me to sleep better at nights.

2. My sister is going off to college... because it means she is able to do something she feels God wants her to do.

3. I have Dysautonomia... because through it I have become so much more appreciative of the little moments in life.

There you go. It's not very long or extravagant, but those are probably the most major things in my life right now. Those are the things that I kept praying for God to just take away and fix. Then I realized that maybe God didn't want me to keep praying for Him to take them away. Maybe He wasn't going to miraculously fix them, although He certainly could. Maybe He was going to use these things to show me and everyone else just how cool He is. Maybe He is going to use these circumstances to show me that I just need to let go...

What about you? Are there things in your life that you keep praying for God to take away? Maybe He's going to use those things to show everyone just how amazing He is. So if you're struggling right now with something that just won't seem to go away, just hold on. God knows what He's doing, and He can take even your suffering and use it for His Glory...

grief

Lost

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

"At the temple there is a poem called 'Loss' carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read loss, only feel it." -Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

Loss is a strange thing; no matter how much we expect it, it still manages to catch us by surprise. You cannot really describe loss. No words can truly express how deep and complex it is. Partially, I think, because everyone experiences it in a different way. We all feel it, react to it, and are affected by it differently.

The best way I have heard it described was by Lemony Snicket- "It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."

When you lose someone you loved a lot, you're left trying to decide how to deal with their absence. Much like after a friend leaves from an extended stay, or you preform your part in a play for the very last time. You have to figure out what to do with yourself. What comes next?

I don't know about you, but one of the things I struggle with the most is working through this feeling of guilt over grieving. I always feel this little twinge of guiltiness for being sad when the person I have "lost" is in a better place. How can I wish them back here with me when they're much happier in heaven? How can I want them to be in a world full of suffering and sadness when those things do not even exist where they are? I know that I feel sad because I love them, but if I really loved them, I wouldn't want them to be here, would I?

But it's in those moments- the moments of grief and hurt- that we are forced to trust God. "The Lord is near the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) He has put your tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), and He has "borne our griefs and carried our sorrows." (Isaiah 53:4) He knows what sadness and loss feels like even more than we do. After all- He gave up His only Son to save a dying world. I think He knows what it is to be sad. And even through it all, we do not need to mourn "as others do who have no hope." (1 Thess. 4:13) Because we have hope. We know that this thing called "death" is not the end, but only just the beginning. The beginning of a story too wonderful for our tiny minds to imagine. This life is like the title page.

So it's OK to mourn. It's alright to be sad over those who have left this world. But we can hope even in our grief- because there is one who has conquered death. He died to give you life, and He rose to give us hope.

(This is, hands down, one of my favorite Veggie Tales songs.)

P.S. This has been sitting on my virtual bookshelf for about a week now, as I've been going back and forth on whether or not I was actually going to post. Finally decided I would, as you can see from the fact that you're reading it...

random

Happy Birthday and Celebration

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

"Celebrate what you want to see more of." -Tom Peters

Did you know that today is someone's birthday? Everyday is someone's birthday, actually. Now, I might not know exactly who's birthday it is, but that's alright. I can still wish them a happy birthday. SO! Without further ado...

Happy birthday!!!

I think everyone should get a hug, or a smile, or something on their birthday. It's a sad thought that a birthday might go by for someone and it just... goes by. That's why I decided my blog needed to wish that person a happy birthday. Oh! And while I'm at it, have a...

Very Merry Un-Birthday!!!

That's for anyone who's birthday doesn't happen to fall on September 10th, but still needs a smile. Because everyday is your un-birthday!

And another thing, this is my 31st blog post. Yay! (I just released 100 virtual, red balloons. You may now feel free look up and smile as they drift away into the sky.)

Thirty-one may seem like an odd number to single out for celebration; that's because it is. Most people celebrate numbers like ten, fifty, and one hundred. But you know what? Numbers like thirty-one are quite frequently overlooked. Isn't thirty-one just as nice as fifty? Doesn't she deserve a chance to shine?! So, I decided that the lovely thirty-one needed some special recognition. Well that, and the fact that I've had a bad week and wanted something to brighten it up. A blog celebration seemed like just the thing.

Now the question is... how do I celebrate? What exactly does one do in a blog celebration?

Well, one shares a list. A list of some of one's favorite things, each from a different category. (Yea. I just came up with that. I'm pretty good, aren't I?) So here it is. To give you a bit more of an idea of who I am, I beg to put before you a few of my favorite things.

______

My favorite bird is... No doubt, the puffin. I love how the bold orange on its face and feet contrasts with the stark black and white on its body. And they're such an odd little bird, too. The have a sort of duck-shaped body and duck-like feet, yet a unique head. Brilliant!
My favorite quote is... By C. S. Lewis. I just discovered this quote a while back, and it really strikes a note with me. It says, “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” Isn't that so true? We don't exactly doubt that God knows what's best for us, or that He will do it; we doubt how comfortable we will be with the best. We wonder how much pain it will cause us at first. But when we really let go of it all, we realize that no matter how much pain we experience in it, God will get us through.
My favorite day of the week is... Monday. Definitely Monday. It is such an unappreciated day, and yet, it's really wonderful. I mean, you've got a whole week before you that you can make whatever you want. And it's the day after Sunday, which means you still have yesterday's sermon fresh in your mind to act upon. (For more on why I love Monday, click HERE.)
My favorite month is... November. I love the end of autumn. All of the pretty colors are there, and the weather is getting steadily colder and colder (hopefully). I love planning for Christmas. I love dreary days. (I don't find them dreary at all, actually. I find them... peaceful.)
My favorite song is... a really tough thing to decide. In fact, it's almost impossible to pick a favorite song, because I listen to so much music, and it all depends on my mood and what I'm thinking about at the time. A song that I really like to listen to right now is Berlin, by The Piano Guys. It has such a nice sound to it, which I really like.

So there you go. You now know what a blog celebration looks like. Hopefully you got a smile or two out of it, and maybe even learned something new about me.

Oh! And be sure to subscribe to get every post I write delivered to your inbox. And for those of you on Facebook (though cheers to you who aren't), go ahead and like my page if you want. I may be doing a giveaway in the future for all of my Facebook fans...

life

I am (Partly) a Normal Person

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

“I was always fascinated by people who are considered completely normal, because I find them the weirdest of all.” -Johnny Depp

Ah, how I love to write! I took a bit of a break from my blog for a while, but I'm back now. I don't know exactly why I took a break. I mean, it's not like it was a planned break or anything. I just... didn't write.

Mostly, I couldn't decide what to write about. I don't want to complain all the time about how I'm feeling, and whenever I tried to type up a post, that was all I could think to write about. At some point, you're just tired of being sick. You want to get back to normal things, and you want to forget about it for a while.

And so, I didn't write.

But now I am! Because now, I have something to write about.

I often have people tell me that my blog posts hit right where it hurt most. Right in that spot of their life that they struggle with. They tell me how much they can relate to what I say, and for a long time I wondered why.

Not that that's a bad thing! I really like it when people tell me that they can relate. But how is it that people from such very different walks of life can all get something from the same piece of work? How can people who have so little in common still find something for them in my writing?

Part of it is, I think, in the nature of how we read and interpret things. Everyone brings a little of themselves with them when they read, and while they're not actively thinking about it at the time, they still filter everything through their own experiences and opinions. Everyone can get something different from it, because everyone is unique, and everyone has experienced different things. We can take what someone has written and put a new perspective on it that is as one-of-a-kind as the person reading.

(That was one thing I noticed when reading all of The Chronicles of Narnia. Every time I read it, I noticed something new. They always held something in their pages that I hadn't noticed last time, no matter how much I've read the series. And no matter how many people have read it, there's something in there for everyone. (The Bible is like that, too. Only... more.))

And I think that's one of the amazing things about how God made us.

Also, I think it has something to do with the fact that, underneath it all, I am (partly) normal. Oh, I know some people would be surprised to hear that. I'm sure there are a few friends of mine who think I'm pretty weird. (To be fair I think they're pretty weird, too.) And I believe that's true. The other day someone called me fascinating. I think that's true, too.

But I also believe that, underneath it all, I'm a bit normal. Because when you think about it, what is normal?

Sometimes you think of normal as average or everyday, but I don't think that could possibly be it. Everyone is so different from one another, that there really is no "everyday". Some people hide their differences more than others because they're afraid to be different, but everyone is unique, so really... what's the point?

Is normal what society tries to tell you is right? Because if so, I don't want to be normal at all. And I don't really consider myself "normal" in that definition. Society tells you that you need to wear tons of makeup, follow the latest trends, have a hot boyfriend, etc. And I don't want or have any of that.

But if normal means having basic needs that everyone feels, then sure. I'm normal. I want to feel needed and important. I want to be cared for. I want to have friends. I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. I want to love and be loved. I want to be noticed, and I want to be remembered.

So I guess, underneath, we all have a bit of normal. And I don't think that's a bad thing. It gives us all common ground. No matter how different we are, we have common denominators. Things we all understand and relate to. Things that give us a reason to try to like each other. Or, at least, to not hate each other. Because when you realize that someone struggles with the same things you do, and when you realize that you have the same needs, it makes it easier to put aside your differences. To forget about all of the things you don't have in common, and think about the things that you do share. It gives you a certain degree of... empathy. Not just sympathy, but empathy. The ability to share and understand the feelings of another.

So maybe- maybe- the world would be a better place if we remembered that we all have a bit of normal.

change

Everything Changes

Sunday, September 01, 2013

“Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.”- Donald Miller

I have realized something recently. Well, not really realized, because it's not as if I didn't know it before. No. It's more than just a realization, because now it's more than just an idea or thought- I have experienced it.

What is it that I've experienced? Well, simply this- things change. A lot. And sometimes, change is scary. Really scary.

I don't know what it is, but we as humans tend to want to know what's going to happen. We don't generally want things to just... happen. We want to know what's going to happen, and we want to know that it's all going to be alright. We want to know we'll come out of it, and we want to come out of it happy.

So we make all these plans to try and convince ourselves that we know how it's going to happen. That we've got it all under control. Even though we don't. Even though everything is out of our hands, we still try to imagine that we're holding onto it.

Change... We feel threatened by it, sometimes. We feel like it's messing up the "perfect" plans we have for ourselves. But if you think about it, our plans aren't perfect. Because our plans don't take everything into account. We can't know every single detail, nor how our "plans" will affect us- or anyone around us- in the future.

But God's plans can. God knows how everything works. How it needs to work. He put everything together, and He hasn't let go of it since. It's still right there- safe in His hands.

A lot of change has been happening in my life. Some of it I like, some of it I don't, and some of it I cannot decide whether I like or not. Some of it scares me. Well, most of it. Because it's so different and new.

What are some of the changes? Well, for one thing, one of my very best friends is about to go to Honduras for a year. (You can see her blog HERE.) She just left, and Wednesday night was the last night I got to see her before she took off. It was a rather emotional night for me. I was happy that she was able to do this, because I know that she is excited. And I know it's what God wants her to do, so of course I'm happy for her. But I'm still really sad that she can't be both places at once. (I think God knew how confusing that would get when He made us unable to do so.)

Also, I am in my second year of high-school. Or, will be. As soon as we start back to school. (That's the nice thing about being homeschooled! We get to choose when to start and finish. Cool, huh?) I mostly like the thought of one more year closer to being finished with high-school, but I also realize that this brings me one more year closer to college, and one more year further from the simplicity of being a kid.

In fact, a lot of things in my life seem to be making me acknowledge the fact that I'm getting old(er). A little brother who's learning to read. More responsibility. Evolving relationships. Nothing is as innocent as it used to be.

And, I may very well be facing a diagnoses of POTS. I'm horrid at trying to explain it, so here's a link if you want more information- www.stars.org.uk/patient-info/conditions/pots While I am very glad that we may finally know what it is that has been causing me so much trouble, unless I grow out of it (which, by the way, is probable), my life is most likely not going to be the same anymore. And even if I do grow out of it, it won't be the same for a while. That's a bit of a scary thought. But I know that I will get through this with help from God and my family.

Well, I guess all of this was to say that you can't turn back time. All those moments that have gone by? They're gone. And now they're nothing more than memories.

So as you go through your week, remember this- one day, these moments will just be memories. Time passes by so quickly, and if you don't use every second you're given, you will look back and realize all the things you could have done. Don't let these precious moments pass by because you're so busy with all the things you think are important but really aren't. Appreciate every single second you are given with your family, friends, and even with yourself. Because things never stay the same for long...

(So it doesn't have much to do with the blog post, but this has been one of my favorite songs lately.)

Living Water Hats

My Passion

Saturday, August 10, 2013

"When passion and skill work together, the end result is often a masterpiece." -Unknown

So, I've been talking a lot lately about these hats that I've been crocheting, and many people have requested more information about these hats, what I'm doing, what my prices are, etc. So here I am- writing about my hats. Since there are a few main questions that everyone has asked, I'll start by answering those.

Q&A with Living Water Hats

Q- "So, what is this about crocheted hats?"
A- Well, I am selling crocheted hats to raise money to build a Jesus Well.

Q- "A Jesus Well? What's a Jesus Well?"
A- A Jesus Well is a well built through an organization called Gospel for Asia (GFA) that is working to bring the Gospel to remote villages in Asia. A Jesus Well enables women to draw clean water within their village, instead of having to walk a long ways. The water that they often have access to is unclean and not suitable for drinking or cooking with, leading to high number of waterborne illness and death. Also, what often happens is that when there is a village well, people who are considered outcasts (those with disabilities or those stuck in poverty) are banned from drawing water. With a Jesus Well, anyone has access to water- no matter who they are. (For more information about Jesus Wells, click HERE. Be sure to watch the video!)

Q- "OK! That's pretty neat. So, what types of hats do you make?"
A- I make a variety of hats, and am always willing to work with you to customize yours. Here are a few pictures of some hats I make, though this isn't the entire collection. I'm still working on getting pictures of all the hats I make.

Marvelous Mesh

Divine Beret

Basic Beanie

Basic Beanie with fuzzy brim and pom pom

Q- "Fun! So, what are your prices?"
A- I've actually been fiddling around with how I want to "charge" for the hats. At first I had been asking a specific amount that was related to which hat style you chose. However, I decided that I don't really like that method. It's too complicated, and I never know what to tell people when they say "How much are they?" SO! I decided to try out a new system. Instead of having a set price for each hat, I'm going to do a "minimum donation" that's based on what size of hat you order, not waht style. The new prices are as follows... Baby hats have a minimum donation price of $10, child hats have a minimum donation price of $15, and adult hats have a minimum donation price of $20. If you choose a more difficult embellishment or customization (an animal face, specialty yarn, etc.) I ask that you add $5. If you would like to give more, that's always appreciated, too, but don't feel pressured into it.

Q- "I don't wear hats very much. Is there another way I can help?"
A- Hats make great gifts for birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Resurrection Sunday, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Rosh Hashanah, New Years, or just for fun! Consider purchasing a hat for a relative or friend. If you still don't want a hat but want to support me, something that would be really helpful is to just spread the word. Tell someone you think might like to purchase a hat. Word of mouth is extremely important, and every little bit helps.

****I have also decided to look into donating hats. You can "sponsor" a hat, telling me as much or as little about the hat as you want, and I will make it. But instead of giving the hat to you, I will donate it somewhere it is needed. I am still looking into this, and haven't really figured out where I'm donating the hats to. If you have any suggestions or tips for me, or know of a place that could use these hats, just email me at livingwaterhats@gmail.com.****

So, I guess those are the main questions people ask me when they hear about my hats. If you still have questions, feel free to email me at livingwaterhats@gmail.com.

anxiety

Where Have the Years Gone?

Wednesday, August 07, 2013

“I think I might understand the way time works: how its passing is impossible to see but when it's gone, you feel it.” - Lysley Tenorio

Time is a funny thing. It has a way of seeming to pass so slowly in the moment, and yet eventually you look back and wonder where it's gone. Each day may well seem as long as a lifetime, yet as more and more go by, you look back and see that you have come so much farther than you thought you had. You think about things happening in three years and think, "Oh! That's a long time from now. I have a while." But if you look back to three years ago, you realize that it hardly seems to have taken a week.

When people used to talk about how time passed so quickly, I would think to myself, "Ha! I don't know what world you're living in, but it's sure not the same as mine! Things always come so slowly in my world. I wish time passed quickly!" As I have grown older, though, my perception of things has changed. I don't know exactly what it is about getting older, but time seems to just fly by so quickly you can hardly keep up. While days may feel exceedingly long, all put together they seem shorter than each individual day. (A bit like the stable from The Last Battle, but in reverse. Instead of being larger inside than outside, it's smaller inside that outside. (Did that even make sense?))

I guess I haven't really said what it was that has made me realize how much time has passed. It's not really one incident, but a collection of happenings put together. In fact, I am reminded of it on an almost daily basis.

Today, my not-so-little sister made cookies. Nearly all by herself. The only things I did were call out ingredients, help with stirring, and take it out of the oven. I still remember when she was born. I remember holding her for the first time. I remember her first birthday, and her first Christmas. (Not that she did much that first Christmas.) I remember her first year of dance. So many “firsts.” And now she's getting so grown up! She does things on her own, she is independent and has a mind that never ceases to amaze.

Another reminder of the passing of time is at the exact opposite end of the spectrum. The end that makes me feel so young still. My older sister. With her, instead of thinking so much about her “firsts”, I am thinking about how many “lasts” there are now. Her last year of high-school. Her last year of dance. Her last few years as a teenager. Her last year to share a room with me. Last, last, last. A whole chapter out of both of our lives is finishing. And once it's finished it's... finished.

It's kind of a scary thought, actually. Like coming to a fork in the road that's covered in fog and realizing that my sister and I are both headed somewhere different. I know that may seem a bit melodramatic, but it's how it feels.

It's easy sometimes (especially when I'm feeling down or stressed already) to let the thought of her going away really freak me out. Sometimes I can't help but think, "Oh my gosh! I'll be all by myself! Who will I talk to all the time? Who will I laugh with? Who will I run all my ideas by?" It's at times like that when I have to sort of stop my brain, take a deep breath, and remember that it will be OK. My world will not fall apart. She's not leaving forever. She's not running off never to be seen or heard from again. She'll come visit. We'll still email. If I start working on it now, we might even talk on the phone. Imagine that, huh?! (Did you hear that, Daddy? I just suggested talking on the phone for fun! You should be proud of me.)

And even though it might seem like it now, it's not like everyone is going away. I'll still have my Mommy and Daddy. I'll still have my friends. I'll still have my other siblings. And above all, I'll still have God. Or, rather, God will still have me. No matter who else in my life moves on, He will always be there. No matter how many people "leave" me (even though my sister isn't really leaving), God isn't going anywhere.

And in the moments where I feel like worrying, that's what I hold onto. That everything will be OK, that not everyone is leaving, that my world is not going to fall apart, and that no matter who does "leave", God is still there.

Living Water Hats

"When All You Have Is Fishes" Part 2- The Miracle

Monday, August 05, 2013

"Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see." -C.S. Lewis

People are always saying that sometimes, when you pray for an answer, it doesn't come as a sudden bolt of lightening or a really obvious, “wet-rag-to-the-face” answer. We like to remind each other that sometimes it's subtle, and you have to be listening really hard in order to catch it.

But then sometimes, God answers a prayer in a totally unexpected way that you just can't help but notice.

A little while ago, I did a blog post about my project, “Living Water Hats.” (If you haven't read the post, click HERE.) I'd been kinda worrying about that post before I actually published it. More than normal, I mean. I kept thinking, “What if I offend someone?” I don't know what exactly I thought was so offensive about it, but I went back and forth on whether or not I was going to actually post that. In fact, it sat on my “bookshelf” as a draft for at least two or three days before I got up the nerve to push that alluring little button and publish it.

But for all that, I felt very strongly that I needed to publish it. Someone out there needed to read it, so I just had to get over myself and put it out there. I mean, really. Do I take myself so seriously as to think that someone might actually be offended by something I post? (Offending someone is one of those “I'll know I've hit the big time when...” things for me.)

So, for several days before I even wrote the loaves and fishes post, I had been praying that God would open up a door for me to be able to sort of spread the word on my hats project. I wanted to keep it going, and I really wanted to get the Jesus Well funded by the end of this year. I was praying that He would show me some way to grow the project. A way for more people to hear about it and get involved.

Then on Wednesday, I was approached by a really neat person at church. The worship leader, actually. His name is Mr. Matt, and he's a photographer. (You can check him out over at wearesaltbox.com) I've always thought he was really awesome, and the fact that he wanted to talk to me was very cool. (You should have been inside my head when he said he read my blog! I kid you not, I sounded like a normal teenage girl would if Taylor Lautner shook her hand. Eeeek!) He told that he read the aforementioned blog post, and that he really liked what I had to say. He also said that he wanted to buy a hat from me and not only that, but he wanted to help me advertise my hats. I think my jaw might have dropped when he said that.

It was one of those moments where there's no mistaking- it was an answer to prayer. It's not a coincidence. It's not an accident. It's a God-thing. And it was a really good reminder that God really does hear our prayers. He really is listening. He's not too busy. He didn't fall asleep. He's not on vacation. He's there. And He has a plan that you cannot even dream of.

I like to think that I have a pretty good (and perhaps chronically overactive) imagination, but I could never have imagined that. I had imagined someone might want to buy a hat after reading my blog post, but had never even considered someone wanting to help me tell other people about them, too. It's incredible! And though it's already been a while since the conversation, I'm still awed by it and feel like smiling like a fool any time I think about it.

Here's something for you to remember- God hears your prayers. No matter what seems to be going on right now, He has a plan. And that plan that He has- the plan for your fishes and your prayers- is bigger, grander, and more awe-inspiring than you can even dream of.

So just hold on for now. God is telling a story through your life, and sometimes His words are written too big for you to read. Someday you will look back from afar and see just how amazing it really was.

And that's what a miracle is...

(Oh! And Mr. Matt? If you're reading this, just know that everything I said about you was completely true, and it wasn't just flattery. I meant every word I said.)

illness

Unspeakable Peace

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

“God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing.” -C.S. Lewis

It seems like I've been posting a lot lately about "God-moments." Don't get me wrong! I'm not complaining. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I'm amazed at how many "God-moments" I've been blessed with recently. And the most amazing part of it is, they've been entirely unexpected.

As I'm certain you noticed, I have been feeling rather out of sorts lately. It seems like it's been a constant struggle with my health. Most recently, it's been problems with my stomach. I don't really care to tell my story again, so if you want to read about what's going on please click HERE.

Anyways, I've been really struggling- not only to do the things I used to find so easy (eat a healthy meal, get to sleep, relax), but also to have fun. I almost have to work in order to have fun right now. I've found it really hard to enjoy life. To sit back and relax. To really really laugh. To not grimace all the time.

On Sunday morning, I was at church. (Like I usually am on Sunday mornings.) This morning in particular I was feeling really bad. I wanted so much to sit in the sanctuary, to sing the worship songs... but I couldn't. I ended up lying down on a couch in the fellowship hall during the middle of worship. Not exactly what I wanted to be doing. I was so upset with myself and with the fact that I felt so terrible. (Am I the only one who sometimes feels guilty being sick? Stupid, I know, but... yeah.) I was frustrated and tired and disappointed.

After a bit, my dad came and said that he was going to ask our pastor to pray for me. So we went back in (they were still singing), and asked him. Well of course he said he would, and after the song was over he said that he was going to pray for/over me, and that anyone who wanted to do the same could come and do so.

As different people were praying for me, I just felt really... peaceful. Like all the pain, all the sickness, all the hurt, all the worry just melted away. I wasn't thinking about my stomach feeling bad. I wasn't thinking about being sick. I wasn't even thinking about the fact that I was tired. It was like a cool shower after being hot and sweaty all day, or rain after a drought.

One of the things that amazed me almost to no end was how many people came to lay their hands on me. It felt so nice to know that all of those people cared for me and about me, and were praying for me to get better. It was almost a George Bailey moment. If you've ever seen It's a Wonderful Life, I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about. (If you haven't seen it yet, you should. It's a great story!) That unforgettable ending scene where everyone comes to his house with all the money they can get together? That's how I felt. All these people rallying together to help me. All of these people whose lives I had touched.

I'm still feeling bad. I'm not going to say there was an instant answer to prayer and I am miraculously healed. But I'm also not going to say that those moments were useless. Because even if there's no lightening-bolt of healing, even if I were to live with this condition (or whatever it is) for the rest of my life, I believe that those prayers were heard. And I will never forget how that felt.

What's Your Dance?

In Everything Give Thanks

Lost

Happy Birthday and Celebration

I am (Partly) a Normal Person

Everything Changes

My Passion

Where Have the Years Gone?

"When All You Have Is Fishes" Part 2- The Miracle

Unspeakable Peace

“God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing.” -C.S. Lewis

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