Walk In The Rain With Me: October 2013

In Everything Give Thanks

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

“Give thanks to the needle that stuck your finger, to the wooden beam that hit your head, and to the bee that stung your hand, because they taught you something.” -Mehmet Murat ildan

Sometimes, things happen to us that we don't really like. Maybe your truck broke down. Maybe you got stuck at one more stop-light than you wanted to be. Maybe you're late for work. Maybe you didn't sleep well last night. Or maybe you're just having an all-around bad day. I definitely understand how you feel. I've been there.

Our whole family was sick a little while back. It started with just my little sister, and we thought it might be food-poisoning. But then my little brother and older sister got it, too. And then I got it. Then my mom and dad. In fact, the only people who didn't get sick were my Grandma and one of my younger sisters. (We're still not quite certain how that happened...)

Being sick was... well... it was pretty awful. I'll spare you the gory (and very "TMI") details, and simply say that you should be very thankful we didn't come over and give you this bug. I was down for about twelve hours, although I think I was only actively getting sick for the first six or something, and didn't feel like doing much for the whole day.

Recently, I've felt a little upset about stuff. Between feeling sick a lot, not being able to do the things I want to do because I've felt sick, not sleeping well, and Kharis visiting a college, I just haven't been super happy with life.

But I realized the other day that having that bug actually helped fix one of the problems I'd been having. While I was sick, my body's internal clock was reset back to normal. Before, it had somehow gotten a bit behind. Consequently, I would have difficulty sleeping at night and wake up much too late every morning. But while I was sick, I slept so much that I was actually able to get back on a normal schedule pretty easily! (Well, normal for me, at least.)

And not an hour after realizing that, I saw this post on Facebook that I'm certain was a God-thing. It was a list of things that, while they might not have been ideal, all had something to be thankful for wrapped up in them. For instance, "I'm thankful my feet are sore from walking, because it means I'm strong enough to walk." I think that's just so cool! And so relevant to my week. So, I have decided to write my own little list of stuff like that. And you, my dear peeps, get to read it!

I am thankful that....

1. I got sick... because it helped me to sleep better at nights.

2. My sister is going off to college... because it means she is able to do something she feels God wants her to do.

3. I have Dysautonomia... because through it I have become so much more appreciative of the little moments in life.

There you go. It's not very long or extravagant, but those are probably the most major things in my life right now. Those are the things that I kept praying for God to just take away and fix. Then I realized that maybe God didn't want me to keep praying for Him to take them away. Maybe He wasn't going to miraculously fix them, although He certainly could. Maybe He was going to use these things to show me and everyone else just how cool He is. Maybe He is going to use these circumstances to show me that I just need to let go...

What about you? Are there things in your life that you keep praying for God to take away? Maybe He's going to use those things to show everyone just how amazing He is. So if you're struggling right now with something that just won't seem to go away, just hold on. God knows what He's doing, and He can take even your suffering and use it for His Glory...

grief

Lost

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

"At the temple there is a poem called 'Loss' carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read loss, only feel it." -Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

Loss is a strange thing; no matter how much we expect it, it still manages to catch us by surprise. You cannot really describe loss. No words can truly express how deep and complex it is. Partially, I think, because everyone experiences it in a different way. We all feel it, react to it, and are affected by it differently.

The best way I have heard it described was by Lemony Snicket- "It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."

When you lose someone you loved a lot, you're left trying to decide how to deal with their absence. Much like after a friend leaves from an extended stay, or you preform your part in a play for the very last time. You have to figure out what to do with yourself. What comes next?

I don't know about you, but one of the things I struggle with the most is working through this feeling of guilt over grieving. I always feel this little twinge of guiltiness for being sad when the person I have "lost" is in a better place. How can I wish them back here with me when they're much happier in heaven? How can I want them to be in a world full of suffering and sadness when those things do not even exist where they are? I know that I feel sad because I love them, but if I really loved them, I wouldn't want them to be here, would I?

But it's in those moments- the moments of grief and hurt- that we are forced to trust God. "The Lord is near the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18) He has put your tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8), and He has "borne our griefs and carried our sorrows." (Isaiah 53:4) He knows what sadness and loss feels like even more than we do. After all- He gave up His only Son to save a dying world. I think He knows what it is to be sad. And even through it all, we do not need to mourn "as others do who have no hope." (1 Thess. 4:13) Because we have hope. We know that this thing called "death" is not the end, but only just the beginning. The beginning of a story too wonderful for our tiny minds to imagine. This life is like the title page.

So it's OK to mourn. It's alright to be sad over those who have left this world. But we can hope even in our grief- because there is one who has conquered death. He died to give you life, and He rose to give us hope.

(This is, hands down, one of my favorite Veggie Tales songs.)

P.S. This has been sitting on my virtual bookshelf for about a week now, as I've been going back and forth on whether or not I was actually going to post. Finally decided I would, as you can see from the fact that you're reading it...

What's Your Dance?

In Everything Give Thanks

Lost

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