Walk In The Rain With Me: self-worth

A Window to My Soul

Thursday, March 12, 2015

The camera is an incredible thing...

I was left once again pondering the beauty of photography last week after an impromptu photo-shoot with my eight year-old brother.

I love these spur of the moment photo-shoots with my siblings, because they're so very raw. They're never posed, they're certainly not perfect, and sometimes they're a little bit messy... But they're real. They're open, honest, transparent, and so very beautiful.

Now, it all started out like any other "photo-shoot." I was trying my best to keep up with a very active eight year-old, and he was scurrying about in the snow talking a mile a minute about this, that, and the other.

This is usually what happens when I take pictures of my siblings- they ramble on while I listen and snap as many pictures as I can.

Sometimes I manage to catch a genuine smile...

...But most of the pictures look a bit more like ^this one!

So, we were just playing around in the snow together when I suddenly had the idea to offer my little brother the chance to have the camera. He's seemed interested in it on the few occasions when he slowed down long enough, and I was interested to see if he would get any usable pictures.

I think he only took about four or five before he got bored, but when I got inside and started looking at what he'd taken, I was struck by the fact that these pictures of me really were beautiful.

I am beautiful.

I truthfully do not have many body-image issues. I don't think I'm ugly or fat or whatever, but I also don't often think of myself as truly beautiful.

My little brother does, though. To him, I am beautiful. Not average. Not ordinary.

Beautiful.

As I looked at those four, beautiful pictures he'd taken, I was reminded why I first fell in love with photography. I fell in love with photography because of its ability to become a window into the soul of the photographer.

When I saw myself through his eyes, I was reminded how much I want other people to see themselves through my eyes. I want to show other people how beautiful I think they are.

It's interesting (though I suppose not very strange) that the hobbies I am most drawn to in life- writing and photography- intrigue me because of their ability to allow me to show other people what's going on inside my head.

I have a very difficult time actually relating to people very well. I'm not sure why, but it's very hard for me to talk to people and tell them what I'm thinking or feeling. I tend to feel like the alien in most social situations- the outsider who doesn't really know what's going on or why.

As a result, I don't end up connecting with very many people. I have a few close friends, but I don't get the impression that most people I "know" actually know me.

And I realize that a large part of this is my fault. It's my fault that I distance myself from people who want to get to know me. It's my fault that I can't get myself to ever fully trust anyone. It's my fault I'm afraid to open up.

But when I get behind a camera or start throwing my thoughts onto a piece of paper... that's when I'm finally free. That's when I'm able to get my thoughts outside my head. That's when I'm at home with myself. That's when people finally understand me.

Cameras and pens are my key to showing people that there really is something interesting going on inside this head of mine.

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What is your key to connecting with people? Is it easy for you to relate to people, or is this something you struggle with? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below, over at my Facebook page, or email me at anastasiarosewrites[@]gmail[.]com.

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101 Things: Counting Down

I'm still working on my paper cranes, but I've also written a letter to myself (#75), and listened to classical, new age, jazz, and world music (#41)!

growing up

Today You Are You...

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

I have the most beautiful siblings ever...

A few days ago, I had the opportunity to photograph one of my sisters. I don't usually get the chance to take pictures of anyone but the very youngest- since she's only two, she's the one who minds the least.

You see, my oldest sister has a job and is quite busy, my little brother never stands still long enough to get anything good, and my other sister has just reached the age where she's beginning to be very difficult about having her picture taken.

She turned 10 in December, which is really the end of an era. Or at the very least, it's the beginning of the end.

She is such a beautiful young lady, and unfortunately, ten to twelve seems to be the age where lots of girls start to forget that.

They start to believe the lies that society tells them- that they can never be good enough.

They start to believe that the person they are is somehow insufficient.

As an older sister and as a young lady in general, this is something I am very passionate about. It's important to me that we show girls- and young people in general!- that who they are is exactly who they should be.

I want girls to know that we can be smart. It's good to be weird, and unique, and most importantly, it's good to just be yourself.

I don't always know the best way to do that, because I'm not really one of those people who is naturally comforting. I'm not someone who knows just the right thing to say to others.

But I have found that photography is one small way for me to make a difference for this young lady. I want to show her what I see in her.

That's probably my favorite thing about photography- and really about art itself in any form. You get the chance to help others to see what you see.

My hope when I'm taking pictures of people is that they will see the beauty in themselves that I see in them. I want to give them the opportunity to see themselves through someone else's eyes.

"Today you are You, that is Truer than true. There is No One alive who is Youer than You." -Dr. Seuss

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How do you think we can encourage younger girls to see themselves in a healthy light? Do you have any suggestions for me in how I can do that? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below, over at my Facebook page, or email it to me at anastasiarosewrites[@]gmail[.]com!

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101 Things: Counting Down

Nothing new on this front.

growing up

The Promise of Fame

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Everyone wants to be remembered...

Have you ever asked a kid what they wanted to be when they grew up? It's one of my favorite things to ask kids when I don't know what else to do with them, because the answer you get back is almost certain to be interesting.

Kids have such high-hopes of adulthood. They're going to be a ballerina, or a veterinarian, or an inventor. They're going to win an Olympic metal, or become Queen of the World, or maybe do both.

In their minds, there is no doubt that they are going to do something great.

But then... we actually do grow up.

Suddenly our dream of becoming Queen of the World seems a bit far-fetched, and we realize we don't have the skills (or determination) needed to win an Olympic medal.

We go to college, pick a career path, and leave our childhood dreams behind.

But I think a lot of us are still dreaming of fame. In some way, we all want to be recognized. We want people to see that we are special. We want others to look up to us. We want to be that celebrity that everyone knows about. Perhaps most of all, we want to be remembered.

I think the reason we desire fame is because what we really desire is purpose. Fame promises that what we're doing matters. If other people notice, than surely we're worth something.

But quantity is not the only measure of greatness.

Sometimes more isn't better. Most of us are never going to have our accomplishments broadcast on the news. Most of us will never be celebrities or national figures. And you might be tempted to think that means you won't be remembered, but it's not true.

You will be remembered by the people who matter. By your family, and your friends. By your neighbors, and colleagues. By people you barely knew but on whom you'd made an incredible impression.

And to those people, you are priceless simply because of who you are.

"The truth is, you can't be anything you want to be; you can only be yourself. [...] But you can be yourself very, very well. Have you ever tried?"

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Looking back, what was your childhood dream? How has your dream changed in the years since? Let me know in the comment section below, over at my Facebook page, or email it to me at anastasiarosewrites[@]gmail[.]com.

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101 Things: Counting Down

I am hoping to buy origami paper this weekend so I can start on my cranes. This is one of the projects that I actually wouldn't mind accepting outside help on. I think it would be awesome to have cranes made by lots of different hands. If you want to make a couple, here is a video link- youtube.com/watch?v=LuIjxq9bj-0. Send me an email so we can coordinate how you're going to get the crane to me. (anastasiarosewrites[@]gmail[.]com) Be sure to sign your name on the bottom so we'll know who made it!

self-worth

Little By Little...

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

We're only two weeks into January, but there are already a lot of broken New Year's Resolutions...

It probably sounds harsh, but it's true- resolutions are notoriously difficult to keep, and very few people see them through to December. Once the hype has worn off and "real life' sets in, whatever goals we've set for ourselves are forced to take a backseat to the other demands of life.

And it's easy to look at those broken promises as just another failure. We get discouraged at our inability to follow through, or we simply choose not to set them at all in anticipation of failure.

I'm guilty of both of those, myself. And not just when it comes to Resolutions. I'm the type of person who hates anyone to see me "failing." So I either sit back until I feel confident in my ability to not fail, or if I do happen to fail while someone else is looking, it can completely set me off from ever trying again.

But this is something about myself that I am working really hard to improve, and I definitely have the opportunity to do that with my 101 Things in 2015.

Because you see, as much as I would like to tell you that I'm exactly where I want to be with it, that just wouldn't be true. I've missed several days on my photography challenge, I'm behind on my Bible Reading plan, and I still haven't bought the origami paper to start on my cranes!

You see, I tend to be really critical of other people, but there's no one I criticize more than myself. When things go wrong- I let someone down or mess something up- my first inclination is to get frustrated at my lack of ability to be perfect.

But then I remember...

God still loves me, so I should love me, too.

It doesn't matter that I've messed up... What matters is how I deal with it. I can choose to learn from it, or I can choose to be destroyed by it.

So if your 2015 isn't going as well as you'd hoped, allow me to be the one to remind you that you. are. more. A great author once said-

"Little by little, one travels far."

Every day, we take it one step at a time. Things will happen, and oftentimes it won't be what we'd planned. But no matter what: we can't stop, we can't look back, and we can't give up.

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How do you tend to react to "failure?" What advice would you give to someone who is "failing" at their New Year Resolutions? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below, over at my Facebook page, or send it to me at anastasiarosewrites[@]gmail[.]com!

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101 Things: Counting Down

This weekend, I went through the list of 100 books everyone should read, and checked off all of the books I've already read. Now I can get started with the others. It looks like I've got 78 to go... Best get reading!

body-image

5 Skinny-Girl Myths: Debunked!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

"If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher!" -Debbie Macomber, Mrs. Miracle

Let me just get this out of the way- there are a lot of misconceptions about being skinny.

And as a skinny-girl myself, I feel like it's time to set the record straight. So here you go!

5 Skinny-Girl Myths: Debunked!

Myth: All skinny-girls are anorexic.

Fact: There are many different reasons a girl might be skinny. Yes, anorexia is one of them. But it's definitely not the only one. For instance, problems like IBD, Celiac, or some other food insensitivity can cause weight loss or problems gaining weight in the first place. And believe it or not, some of us are just born like that.

Myth: "I wish I had those problems..."

Fact: Skinny-girl problems aren't better or worse than your problems. Just different. When I mention having issues with my pants being too big around the waist or not having enough... stuff to fill up my shirt, people often say something to the effect of "Well, I wish I had those problems." The truth is, if you had those problems your entire life, you probably wouldn't wish for them anymore. Just because my problems seem smaller than yours doesn't they're better nor worse. Just different. No one's life is perfect.

Myth: Skinny-girls don't eat.

Fact: Lots of skinny-girls have a high metabolism, which means they can pack away a lot more than they look like. Until you've actually seen a girl eat when she's hungry, you have no idea how much it takes to make her full.

Myth: All clothes look good on us.

Fact: No one looks good in everything. Not even someone in a size zero. And in all honesty, it can be hard to find clothes that fit properly.

Myth: Skinny-girls don't (or shouldn't) have body-image issues

Fact: Weight is not the only possible insecurity a woman can have about her body. And even if it were, that wouldn't make "skinny-girls" immune from an unhealthy body-image.

Thank you GlutenFreeLemon for this great picture!

Bonus!

Myth: "Real women have curves."

Fact: One's femininity has nothing to do with one's weight. You are a woman not because of how much you weigh, or how nicely you dress. Your worth, beauty, and identity are not wrapped up in the number on a scale or the tag in your jeans.

You have so much more than that. Your personality, your sense of humor, your love for others... Your thoughts, dreams, and ideas... Your humanity. Your womanhood.

So what if we stopped turning skinny vs. curvy into some kind of war, and just respected people for who they are?

life

Almost 200 Views, But...

Thursday, April 25, 2013

"[This] scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love." -Steve Maraboli

Today has been a fairly crazy day. I went to babysit a little friend of mine around 10:30-ish, and I finished up around 6:30. People say eight hours is a long time to babysit. I agree with that. But you know, it's a lot of fun anyways- bloody noses and all. I really love getting to watch my little friend grow up. I love being a part of his week, and I love hearing him tell me we'll get married one day. (I love you too, Baby Josh!)

Other than babysitting, I haven't done a whole lot this week that I really care to share on here. Mostly because it's uninteresting, but partly because I have something better.

This past weekend, I was able to attend a Girls Of Grace conference. It was an amazing experience, and any of you girls out there, I definitely suggest it! I will admit that one of the biggest reasons I wanted to go was For King & Country. (Can I just say, wow!) However, I think I would have enjoyed it without their performance, and I'm sure you would, too. (At least you'd better!)

Anyway, it was a really neat event. I got to hear a lot of people speak about various stuff. Some of the messages are a little fuzzy now (almost a week later), but one speaker in particular really stuck with me. Her name was Constance Rhodes. She was the first speaker of the day, and she was talking about how you are more than a number. We have lots of numbers all over the place, and most of the time they're good things. They help us tell time, order things, charge people absurd amounts of money for stuff, etc. etc. etc.

But we have a tendency to take things a step further. Instead of just letting numbers help us, we let them define us. We think our weight, our age, our height, make us who we are. That they define our beauty.

But you know what? You are more than a number. Because there is only one you, and you were made by only one God. So next time you're tempted to let numbers take over your life- your weight, the number of Facebook friends you have, whatever- just remember that you are more than a number.

My blog has almost 200 views. But you know what? I am more than a number...

hollywood

"All Of The Clone-Like People"

Monday, April 22, 2013

"Be yourself. Everyone else is taken." -Oscar Wilde

So, for any of you who might not know, I'm a dancer. A competitive dancer. For me, spring is the time of year that's full of competitions and performances. Most of the time it's fun, but there are those few dances each year that just make me want to run away screaming. And there could be several different reasons why.

First of all, there's the classic, "Sloppy Beyond Belief" dance. This one has all kinds of flexed toes, bent knees, and other dance nightmares. Frequently, these dances come in the form of ballet- my sister's pet-peeve. They're ballet dances done by people who should not be competing ballet- four year-old girls and level one dancers, for example.

Then, we have the "Tidy But Boring" dances. These are particularly frustrating, because they frequently win. Sometimes, judges will favor the extremely clean dances that have absolutely nothing challenging or interesting to them, over dances that have one or two mess-ups, but are much more age and level appropriate.

We've also got the "I Can't Believe Your Mom Let You Do That" dances. These dances are a little touchy because, evidently, I've lived a slightly sheltered life. I have no regrets about the fact that I didn't know what the "s-word" was until only a few years ago. I don't wish that I'd learning about "knowing people" (in a Biblical way) before I did. But anyways, my "sheltered" and homeschooled upbringing has led me to be quite shocked by some of the dances people do. (And the moms who let them do it!) I won't even get into any of the stuff that falls under this category...

And lastly, we have our "Lose Your Faith In Your Humanity" dances, which frequently include dances from the "I Can't Believe Your Mom Let You Do That" category. However, there are a few more dances in this category that don't fit into the previous section. One such dance was performed to the song "Beautiful People", by Christina Aguilera. It started out with all of these girls in red, sparkly dresses, except one. She was wearing this awesome costume with a white button-down top, black pants, and "nerd" glasses. (Minus the glasses, I've worn that exact outfit.) As I'm sure you can guess, she played that outcast. The gawky, uncoordinated, nerd. Then, just before the last round of the chorus, all of the other dancers helped her whip off her "nerd" outfit, where underneath she was wearing -guess what?!?!- a red, sparkly outfit. She gave a huge smile, and joined the ranks of red, sparkly, beautiful people.

And after I watched that dance, I wanted to run away screaming- and crying.

Has our society gotten so bad that we honestly believe we have to become clones of each other in order to be beautiful? Have we fallen so far we even encourage that kind of thinking? What has the world come to?...

As you go about your week, remember this- you are beautiful because God made you. And He made you you. He didn't make you Sally Sou, or Billy Bob- He made you you. And God must have known what He was doing, or He would have used a cookie-cutter...

I Belong Here

A Window to My Soul

Today You Are You...

The Promise of Fame

Little By Little...

5 Skinny-Girl Myths: Debunked!

Almost 200 Views, But...

"All Of The Clone-Like People"

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