Sore Throats And Exploding Children: Just A Typical Thursday

Thursday, April 18, 2013

"Nothing you do for children is ever wasted." - Garrison Keillor

(WARNING!!! This post may contain whining, fussing, and/or a pity party.)

When I woke up this morning, my throat was killing me. I could hardly breathe out my nose, and I'd woken up about an hour before I actually needed to get up. I was grumpy, groggy, and more than a little annoyed.

Wow. What a way to start your day, huh!?!?!

And to add to all that, I had to go babysit a rambunctious three year-old and a rowdy six year old... Both boys... For nearly eight hours... I have officially heard enough shooting, exploding, yelling, and long-winded conversations about Minecraft to last me a life-time

Or at least until next Thursday.

Not to mention the constant narration of every single action of every single game for eight hours straight. Maybe I did the exact same thing when I was six, but I do not understand why with some little kids, every game sounds like this-- "And then, the eagle dropped a grenade on the house, and it blew up! [Insert sound of large explosion here!] And then, he flew away- but he was too high for anyone to see. And then, the eagle landed in the large oak tree. And then..."

Oh, oh! And, they tell you exactly what your character should do just so you get it right. But don't even think about arguing! Remember the saying, "Hell hath no fury like a small child contradicted"? You best better believe it, buddy! (Yes, I speak from experience.) "And then you look over at the explosion, but you can't see the eagle... you look over at the explosion... Aaannnnaaa! Make your person see the explosion!!!"

And we can't forget the fact that every single game somehow ends up with all the cards stacked in their favor. (Not that my siblings would ever do that to me...) And they just-so-happen to be entirely against you. "And then, my guy comes over, and he uses his diamond sword! But you don't have any armor on."

So to sum it all up, here are my tips for surviving a game with a small child-

1. Unless they're really wrong, they're always right.
2. Prepare to be beaten soundly, and be a good sport about it.
3. Smile and wave, boys!

And there you have it- my never fail tips for playing with children! Just follow this advice, and you're guaranteed** to live long enough to play another game.

(**All cases are unique. Do not expect the same results.)

But seriously, cherish every moment you get with little kids, whether they're your siblings, your cousins, or just really good friends. Love 'em, hug 'em, and get messy together. Cause I promise, you blink and that three year-old is suddenly approaching his twelfth birthday. 
(That one's for you, Bryan Carpenter.)

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